Wind

The breze blew in
like the hot wet kiss of a brewing storm
stirring your cologne
as I lay against your chest
with something
maybe
playing on the stereo
but it was drowned out
by my cheek against you
and the wind blowing kisses
that rolled your cologne
which clung to me even later
and I relished.

In Case

In the event of emotional emergency
pray.
Whether or not you believe
blame curse beseech teh sky until you realize
that you are smaller than the clouds
and just as temporary
and if they can be beautiful
knowing that they will be rain
you can probably survive the day.


Sing.
Take the advice of the ancients and the pasionate and let 'er rip.
Sing broken hearted and broken voiced
until you forget that you are either and remember only
that you wish you knew more songs.
Then make them up and keep singing.


Explore your wisdom.
There is something that you understand better than your average bear does.
Something that resonates with you.
Bask in it.
Bathe in it.
It is yours for a reason
even if you don't see it.


Remember that they
all of them
everyone
has their moments of darkness
their journeys through tunnels that they can see no end to.
Sadness is an equalizer in this human experience
as is the wild laughter that splits your sides and shoots milk from your nose.
They are both true.
At all costs
focus on the latter.
Know that always
the choice is yours.

Everybody: This Is For You

 I've been thinking about you a lot lately.
In passing
in joy
in grocery aisles.

I think of how I'm sure that you don't realize
how your smile sparks sunshine
and how looking into your eyes
I find the solace of sameness.

Over coffee this morning
I had the sinking feeling
that all too often you are unaware
of the creative grace
that flows in waves from even your subtle movements.

In fact, you know that tick twitch fidget tell that you have?
I find it rather endearing.
It reminds me that you are deliciously human
even when I'm blinded by your glow.

I'm afraid
sometimes
late at night
that you don't know that we all
have moments of doubt.
We all question this path
this skin
how our minds hold it all together.
We all daydream about what could've been
and wonder how yesterday should've been done better
but once the chips are down and the bets are closed
it is what it is
and what do we know about better anyway?

And I guess what I'm saying
is that we all
all too often
feel all too alone
and that's the irony of all this
because we're not.
We're all on this dreamscape seat of our pants journey together.

And next time you're sure
that you're hurtling through space cold and alone
meaningless and behind schedule
running dangerously low on air
please know that you aren't alone.
You can't be alone.
I see you
and you are beautiful.

The Continuing Tale of D

I've tripped over some slick lines in my time.
Built a few traps,
tested various poisons,
and played house with wolves and sheep
(they are equally domesticated and dangerous in the long run).

I've dived deep in shallow waters
barely missing the jagged rocks;
fallen blindly into fathomless depths
lost the sun;
but things do taste sweetest down there.

A word of advice:
all that glitters is not precious
even when it's set in gold.
I've been so afraid to fly
that I keep on crashing.

The travel broschures keep piling up
but I keep myself under paranoid lock and key
because if I can't make i there
who will I be?

I've loved too hard,
hated too many,
and one of those was me.
I've found myself isolated in crowds,
and lost myself again just as easily
in gracious solitude.

I've rejected authority,
conformity and anarchy
and have still met some dieties along the way
though the road less traveled
is so for a reason.

I've sworn off love more often than I've found it
and now I'm nourishing the notion that my love for me can spring eternal
if I keep my wits about me
and my soul food pure.

I've grown to accept that I will never have polite clean lines
instead I gleefully rock my carnal curves.
And while I sometimes mourn lost moments
but then I remember that hindsight is 20/20
and probably will be again tomorrow.

When I cry in the rain
I remind myself that the moon
holds me in her eye and heart
and when the day nearly does me in
I remember it's the sun that grows me.

At this bend I reflect
and admit
that I have no clue
where the paths will lead from here
but I intend to keep my sights set high
despite where the winds may toss me
or what the scenery hides.
For now,
I am free to window shop
for the shoes I have yet to fill.

(January 3, 2007)

The Breath of Dieties

If yoga means union in ancient Sanskrit, she reflected as she breathed herself into shaky balance, then it has certainly been mistranslated into firm butts and trendy leggings. And,she reasoned, if it truly is more than the newest mainstream mainstay, then the fire in my thighs is really the loving breath of a myriad of dieties.

Tracks

Stepping out my front door
I am already at the tracks.
Which side depends
on where you're standing.

The train roars out of nothing
faces turned passively to the glass
to the falling darkness
the speeding trees.

I wonder about them
commuting home
to safe warm dens
dinner
suburban sprawl.

They wonder about the lives led
in the spaces
that are merely their in betweens
and the lights that shine
long after they are dreaming.

Briefly we are a part
of each others scenery.

May 1, 2011.

Studies in Sanskrit: Prem

Prem = Love

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles."

- Willa Cather

"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."

- Plato

"Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free." 

-Tom Robbins

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

- Charles M. Schulz

Studies in Sanskrit: Yoga

One could say that yoga headed West in the 1960s, and be mostly right. When Maharishi Mahesh Yogi became the very public spiritual advisor for The Beatles in 1967, a whole generation felt the call to seek the ancient wisdom of the East, and the counterculture found a beat it could march to. By August of 1969, Sri Swami Satchidanana was giving the opening address at the Woodstock Music Festival to nearly 500 000 open hearted explorers. Both yoga and TM (Transcendental Meditation) exploded onto the scene from seemingly nowhere.

The truth is that the information had been inching it's way across the continents for decades: 

Swami Vivekananda traveled to China, Europe, Canada, and America before the turn of the 20th century, speaking about Hinduism and Buddhism at the Parliament of World's Religions in Chicago in 1893. He is quoted as saying in one of his American speeches: 

"I do not come to convert you to a new belief. I want you to keep your own belief; I want to make the Methodist a better Methodist; the Presbyterian a better Presbyterian; the Unitarian a better Unitarian. I want to teach you to live the truth, to reveal the light within your own soul"

illustrating the fact that yoga has and always will be, the path rather than the destination. By 1895 he was teaching yoga classes in the Thousand Island region.

The word yoga comes from the root word "yuj" meaning to yoke, or control, which of course makes sense when we consider the discipline involved in pranayama (breath work), or even in maintaining a consistent practice. The word also means "union", and this is the commonly accepted meaning. 

Unifying with what, then becomes the question. From even a secular position, yoga can be used to remind us the non-duality of everything. We are part of the eco-system, the universe, the collective subconscious; our existence depends on our neighbors, on our planet, and vice versa. From a spiritual point of view, we are connected not only to all that we see and understand, but we are also made of the same celestial pixiesticks and cosmic rainbows as our neighbors: the spark that makes them human makes us human; our souls can relate to other souls; we are all drops of God, even if we call God by a different name. Simply, thou art that.

There are as many paths toward union as there are creatures seeking them, and the truth is, you don't need to unroll a mat to be in yoga. Sure, physical practice helps to get you there (hatha, raja & kriya yogas), but devotional practices (bhakti yoga),  or philosophical approaches (jnana yoga) will as well. In all honesty, whatever leaves you feeling in tune with all that is, will be, and ever was, is your best path to union. Whether it be composing a song or dancing the night away, your sense of fulfillment and completion is the goal behind each route. Be yoga now.

Studies in Sanskrit: Om

Many of us are familiar with the droning hum heard at the start and close of yoga classes, but how many of us consider the meaning of the word?

It is said that this is the sound of creation; the vibrational tone that literally created the universe and everything in it. For instance, if we put it in the context of the quote "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God" (John 1:1), this would be the word referred to from a Hindu or yogic perspective.

Most appropriately, OM is pronounced AUM, with three distinct and separate syllables that flow naturally into one another. The opening of the mouth to release sound naturally creates the AHH; the sustaining of the sound with open mouth creates the UHH, and the closing of our mouths as the breath empties from our lungs creates the MMM. Each syllable represents a part of the creative cycle, from inception, to sustenation, to the the close of the cycle, that it all may begin again.

Each stage of the cycle is represented by a god: Brahma is the creator, Vishnu the preserver, and Shiva the destroyer. Together they make up the Trimurti, or the Hindu Trinity.

So the next time you find yourself smiling at the end of class, lost in the soothing sea of OM, take a moment to bask in just how vast that sea really is.

Rebuild By Razing

Please forgive the mess.
Over the past decade I have spent considerably more time rebuilding than decorating
and this fresh landing pad is as yet unadorned.

Through the packing and unpacking I have defined and refined all the pertinent pieces
and while they are rarely in order
they're all around here somewhere
including all the reasons why I should know better by now.

True, it's been a long time since I played with the kind of fire that burns bridges so easily
but I'm sure I'll remember the drill if you hum a few bars
and it's true they say there's something purifying about uncontrolled flames
and that if the flaw wasn't in Achilles' heel
it would've been somewhere else.

I have been a fire-walker so long that sensing smoke is now my nature.
I have walked longer than you know
water-bucket in one hand
match in the other.
I have earned each scar and story
stood covered in sweat and soot
burned the beginnings I have built --
both reinforced walls and warm homes --
and have learned to build both quickly.
I have screamed through searing lungs
and come through safely on each other side.

So rest assured that the freedom to wear
this heart on this sleeve
has been hard won
and is neither ignorance nor cutsey-poo innocence
rather it is a bold blazing testament to
the nerve
the strength
the force of my will
to bare myself time and again
risking what feels to my core like everything
to roll the dice for every modern fairytale
every cheesy TV movie
every book about the weirdos who find their perfect weirdo
because I have the technology to survive all the falling skies along the way
but would surely die of a broken heart
if I didn't keep up the chase.

- winter 2009ish?