Friday, June 30, 2006

Storm

The rain is wailing down
Open unabashed sobs onto the summer lovers
Tucked away in their night boxes and collective realities
Onto the sad hearts
Broken and alone
Weighed down by their private corpses
And tonight
Through the clouds
And the thicker tint of my own sorrow
I know I do not watch alone

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

If I were to be kissed right now
I think I would cry in the sweet relief of it

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Patchouli & Leather

She smelled of patchouli and leather when the whim of lust hit me
But she was gone by the time I turned around
I’ve been searching for a boy whose soul smoked endless cigarettes in jazz bars
And greeted the sun at sidewalk cafes
And I found a man who wrote poetry with his heart across exploding sunset horizons
But didn’t write any of it down
And now he whispers music to me on the water at sunrise
But we never set foot in that poetic bar
Or that tortured coffeehouse
And something on the air tells me they closed their doors years ago
And all that remain are the anonymous boarded windows
Plastered with new distractions
And a hint of patchouli floating in on the tip of evening

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I don't have to speak
Because you know
And could say it with a more charming smile
I'm watching your eyes
To see them watch me
Wondering what you see
And think
And feel
Like

Monday, June 19, 2006

Dearest #1

Dearest,

potential is so painful, and what-ifs can't help but cut to the core.

You have left enough behind amid your dust and sleepy memories for me to build a muse on; far more useful than idols, far warmer than ideals. It is all, I suppose, that I really needed, even if I do still ache for more.

Dearest, if you do not wish to be near enough to hear how eternal your eyes or how perfect your mouth, I will say it, shout it, whisper it to tempted romantics, in the hopes that someone will believe me that you were more than just a passing dream.

Truly,
Me.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

MY SONG

This is my jam
Minus the backbeat
Poetess to the core
Though lyrics escape me
Still if music is the sound a soul makes
This is mine
My years measured in pages and intermittent rhymes
So what if you can't crank it up
Dance to it or romance to it?
You can absorb this
And dream on this
Like an ethereal foundation on which to place your ponderings
Indulge your fantasies
Plan new yearnings
So I give you this:
Frail paper with feeble language
Because you can't see through my jaded idealistic eyes
Only into their tainted depths
And I construct these lines
To touch your mind
Because without a detailed diagram
You will not recognize who I truly am
That even when down
I am far from out
And that if you see my heart on my sleeve
It's only because that's where I want it to be
For all that it's worth and the sick risk it is
The falls may be brutal
But the trip itself is pure bliss
'Cuz without all of that
There could be no this
And somewhere in the hyperbole of my poetry
There is the story of every you and me
Cut dried and simplified
Arranged center stage on display for the world to see
There is universality
In the crash scene of every loving tragedy
And I may be covered in the ashes of this untimely combustion
But at least I know how to burn
Which you seem to perceive
As some immature catastrophe
Some sloppy tribute to my leftover needs
But my creation stems from emotion and observation
And the sticky subject of eternal self examination
Propelled as it is by my constant regeneration
And if you too had a dream to acheive
That was facilitated by the humble pie trinity of passion love and absolute transparency
You could share some of my journey
And your words of wisdom with me
But seeing as how the things you prioritize
Are based on illusion distraction and the need to accessorize
I have to step back from your constructive attack
And take a quick count of my to do list
My who's who list
The places I need to see
The person I have yet to be
In all my pending comfort joy and glory
And though I may dare to let you in to share
At my core I will never stray from the real me
And though it may be smarter and safer
To put an end to this caper
Turn off the tunes
Lock down my dreams
Burn up this paper
I need to go on feeling each and every rough curve as I grow with the flow
'Cuz without pop lock breaking inside
I could never know what I know



Tuesday, June 13, 2006

On my way
From somewhere else

I saw your car

Parked at home
And thought

About the cozy smiling evening
Out of the rain
And in your arms

That I wouldn't have

Monday, June 12, 2006

Promises, Promises

I promise
Not to believe in anyone's fresh promises
Bright eyed and optimistic
Well intentioned or otherwise
I promise
Not to be swept up
By fantasies
Or dreams
By beguiling gentlemen or the ghosts of what I am looking for
(And I promise not to do the sweeping)
And inside I feel like my
Heart is the hope
Trapped under mythical lock and key
But I promise
That it will be okay

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Unsaid

What I am trying to say
Is that fresh starts are hard to have faith in
After so many rock bottom endings
And that princes only come to princesses
And I do not feel like one
I want to say
That I could not have written
This story
Thus far
Better myself
I want to tell you
That I believe in magic
And this is proof
And that muses sure do turn up
In the strangest of places


(May 31-06)

Monday, June 05, 2006

Cynical Memories

If this really is
The rerun it looks like
Remember
Not to bother again
My energy is of better use anywhere else
Remember
That if talk is cheap
And actions fleeting
The only thing of any worth is the paper I am writing on
Remember
That dreams are best left to the sleeping
And fairy tales to children

(June 4-06)

Friday, June 02, 2006

So many perfect scenes
Of summer churches
The moon floating on paintbrush clouds
The air crammed with blossoms
And god outside with us
Enjoying the view

Thursday, June 01, 2006

En Route

I am tired of the cheap carbon cop outs
As to why my life is not the perfect peach
That I have tried to cobble it into
The road less traveled
Is so for good reason
More internal than admirable
With more dips en route than perfect vistas on tap
A tired journey of spilled wine
Burned time
And more tears than framed accolades
But every destination I have ever dared to daydream
Is somewhere along this long wandering trail
And whatever it is
That was always meant to be mine
Is certainly at its end