Private #3

I'm drinking vermouth
Too straight too fast
But it's not chasing my demons away.
I'm still feeling lonely desperation,
And the perils and paralysis of a non-exsistent relationship
That is real enough
To touch
Sometimes.
And I know a couple of people who think this pain makes me lame
And another couple of hearts that ache along with mine
But is it really so hard
To define and then find the human treaures of our varied destinies?
I'm too rough and tumble for a pretty prince
And unsure how I feel about the expensive figureheads of monarchy
And I do not want a blind brute of a defender
As I am wrong too
Often.
I want someone to care where I was,
Where I am.
On occasion
Worry.
But none of these too much.
Lust after me like a stranger would
With hopeful hungry glances;
Lust after me like a new lover
Eager, passionate, and shy to explore.
Want me
Think of me
Because I want to love
And lust
And want
And give it all
And build an empire
For others to base their dreams on.
Is that really so hard?