Lost lunch

I'm thinking
That if this
Food court sushi poisoning feeling
In the pit of my stomach
Is true love
Then I'd better stick to the facts
Of diluted delusions
Gone before breakfast
What-was-his-name by dinner
Romance.
It's best I skirt the fringes
Of martini dreams
And not reconstruct the pieces I lost
Or forgot I had.
I ought to keep up a resistance
A safe distance
Even as I am delving
Into this
Deja voodoo
Daydream
Losing my mind
And my way
Repeatedly
To the unalterable rhythms of being me;
But I find myself crumbling
Always on the same
Warm
Nearly home doorstep
Comforted
But filled
With the foreshadowing of broken hearts.
Still
If there is more
To this whole
To be had
Than the sum of these parts
Jagged and sad
Casting desperate disco rainbows
Across these empty rooms
I will throw
The caution of my casual flirtation with cynicism
Into the mesmerizing flames
Of this sun baked flashback moon dance.
I will risk life
And ever precious whim
To see this
Endorphin induced
Primal instinct dream through
Until we agree
That it is morning.