Never Enough

I find myself waking up
In these new places
With familiar faces
Unfinished missions
And a pile of new business.
I am carrying my well worn promise to protest
Made for TV memories
And dogs and yards and minivans
Until they are worth it
Unless they are perfect;
Only if the pret-a-porter fantasy
Fits me like a second skin
Will I ever let myself give in.
I vowed to rebel
Eternally
Internally
Against these infernal things
They'd have us believe
Are the be all
And end all
The quintessential
Of it all.
I dared myself
Prepared myself
Swore into my own eyes even though it scared myself
That I would never crumble into complacency
Mediocrity
The simple homogeny
Of the every day.
Even if I have to go it alone
I will not find myself buying the gift wrapped mall dream
Not on sale or with my frequent layaway flyer points.
I have no need to hang pictures
Frozen frames of quickly fading states of mind
Just to hammer the nail
And admire the job.
I will only need to pin these moments
If my miracles
Give me wings and make me hear bells
And I will only name
My Prince
As King
When all the firey hoops have been put out and down
And all the egoists, jesters and illusionists
Have been sent home
No fanfare
And certainly no tears
To write their own happy endings
While I soar into my future.